As a writer, I’m always on the lookout for my next idea…Just a little non-derivative something to hang a story on.
With this in mind, one of my guilty pleasures is reading the NYC, MIA and LA Craigslist Writing Gig ads. Here’s an interesting one I found this morning. No affiliation or recommendation. Re-posted here for entertainment purposes only. Proceed at your own risk:
WRITE MY SCREENPLAY (MIAMI BEACH)
I HAVE DONE THE RESEARCH FOR A SCREENPLAY THAT TAKES PLACE DURING WORLD WAR II. IT IS A FANTASTIC, SPELL-BINDING STORY, SURE TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE. HELP WITH THE WRITING, SHARE THE PROCEEDS FROM THE SALE.
- do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
ALL CAPS, Miami Beach, no pay, help with writing, share the profits, sure to be a major motion picture?! Be still my foolish heart! I’m calling it…This one is golden.
I didn’t give this spec script writing gig too much thought. Heck, I’ve lived in Miami and seen things, strange things that still keep me up at night. You ask, ”What kinda things did you see?” Well OK, here’s one…
In a small grocery store located in a nice Miami Beach neighborhood, a well dressed middle aged woman showed the man at the register the half of a banana she held in her hand. The banana had been cut neatly in half. The clerk leaned across the counter and glared, “Lady, we don’t sell half a banana in here!” The lady looked hurt and softly replied, “But half a banana is all I need…”
To this day, I have no idea what happened to the other half of that banana.
So, would I help that lady or the man who posted the CL ad write a speculative script for free? Very unlikely, but IF I had the chops and did, the experience might make an interesting dark comedy?
On second thought, in today’s progressive climate, the grocery store clerk would have to undergo six months of court ordered sensitivity training and the Banana Lady would be on TV for a month surrounded by weeping grief counselors and politicos looking for their next hot button issue. I can almost see protesters shouting and holding signs: WE DESERVE BANANAS! HALF AND WHOLE!
Oh well, I’ll keep looking for my next story idea.